As if you care, but in case you do, now you know that I am not ashamed of.....
1. Having partied myself out of college the first time. I enjoyed the mess out of my 20's, and learned a ton about life. Like - a glass of water, 2 Advil and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is the best way to ward off a hangover. Poison Control told me that. Why was I talking to poison control? I was in my 20's. It was a girl's night. Put two and two together and I'm sure you will figure it out.
2. Keeping my head in the books the SECOND time around. I graduated with honors. Of course the day after I graduated I couldn't figure out how to get the paper towel roll on the holder....but hey...I graduated...WITH HONORS.
3. Being 32 and having the most bizarre phobias known to man. Let's see...there's the Easter Bunny, cruise ships, and anyone dressed up in a costume where you can't see their face. If you've ever been to a college football game with me, or to the mall during the holidays, you have been privy to the spectacle I become. If you have not witnessed it.....oh boy...it's something to write home about, that's for sure. I will just tell you this, it involves hyperventilating, raging panic, possibly some pants peeing, tears, and maybe a scream or two. I kid you not. It's epic.
4. Putting my daughter first in all that I do. Even though it meant making the tough decision to become a single mom, some things are just necessary. It's tough, but ummm...wasn't Wonder Woman a single mom? Isn't that how she got her name? If she wasn't, she is now.
5. Acting a complete ASS at the risk of others pointing and laughing. I could care less what that 21 year old Lady Gaga wannabe thinks of me as I robot dance to the beat. Or challenge the cutest boy in the club to an old skool dance off. I will roger rabbit all OVER that ass, and dare her to say somethin'..Life is much too short to be so serious all the time...hell, to be so serious even 50% of the time...sometimes (and some people) just need to loosen up...do the hustle in Target...up and down the aisles...and then running man through the check out...it's really fun!
6. Telling other people's kids that are acting a hot mess in restaurants that Santa Claus is watching them through the sprinkler system. I have never seen kids sit down, shut up and act right so fast in my life! Everyone should get to enjoy a nice meal out with out having someone else's kids french fries landing on THEIR plate. I'm just doing my part.
7. And lastly, I'm not ashamed to currently be using your (and MY) tax dollars to take care of my daughter. After a series of INCREDIBLY unfortunate events I lost my job last month. This has forced me to apply for food stamps, apply for SSI for my daughter, continue to utilize my WIC benefits, and collect the little unemployment I get. Yes, this college educated (with HONORS, DAMMIT)woman is currently out of work, having a bit of trouble finding NEW work, and is doing her damndest to make ends meet. I don't eat out. I don't drive unnecessarily. And I don't get my nails or hair done with the little money I do have. I clip coupons to make my foodstamps last. I try to do the driving I NEED to do either early in the morning or after the sun has gone down to conserve. I am doing EVERYTHING I CAN to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. And thanks be to God that I have not been late on a utility bill or my mortgage since I lost my job....going on two months now.
I recently heard it said that a mom may not do what she WANTS to do, but she will always do what she HAS to do. Well, I guess that's where I'm at then...doing what I HAVE to do. And I'm not the least bit ashamed.
Now, has anyone seen my cape?