Saturday, August 22, 2009
Call the Mommy police. Report me to Parents magazine. Someone get a hold of Brad and Angie and see if they are interested in adding another child to their multi-cultural brood because I. Am. Over. It.
"It" is cute babies. "It" is cute babies who scream un-apologetically. "It" is cute babies who scream un-apologetically for no good reason other than they hate their car seat. And lastly, "It" is cute babies who scream un-apologetically for no good reason other than they hate their car seat and then when you finally try to put them down in their own crib they're not having it. They want YOU. MOMMY. HOLDER OF THE WOMB to hold them while they fall asleep so they can give you a sidelong glance and wry smile as if to say "GOTCHA BITCH." And then, just as they drift off to sleep and you begin to ask God for forgiveness for some of those thoughts you had while all that screaming was going on, you hear the sound that almost sends you into a Gran Mal seizure. She laughs. The screaming baby chuckles and drifts off to sleep, while you are stuck, too scared to move because that wretched screaming might start up again.
So you sit. And you sit. And sit. And eyeball the shot glass and bottle of Jose Cuervo Black that is approximately 10 feet away. And you're still sitting. Then...you have to pee.
Good thing it's laundry day.
I'm so over it.
*Once again, because I just know SOME MOTHER out there is wagging her finger at me and muttering about how grateful I should be to have such a blessing and yaddah yaddah yaddah....I AM GRATEFUL. I LOVE MY KID. HOWEVER, IT'S BEEN A DAY. And in case you missed it...my blog header DOES say "Things Nobody Says Out Loud..."*
Posted by Adiba Nelson, Author/Blogger/Mom at 10:26 PM