Saturday, August 15, 2009

Mylicon, Will You Marry Me?

Not too many posts ago I made mention that I have often contemplated purchasing stock in Trojans. Well, I may be going broke because mama just discovered MYLICON.

Now before I wax poetic about the beautiful little blue box, let me first say TO ALL MY MOMMY FRIENDS WHO READ THIS AND DIDN'T TELL ME SUCH AN AMAZING PRODUCT EXISTED - YOU'RE ALL DEAD TO ME. To my expecting mommy friends who read this - I expect my name to be listed somewhere on that birth certificate.

OMG MYLICON! Where have you been the past three months of my life?? Seriously. For the last three months I have been dealing with a beautiful baby girl who burps like a Kappa Sig frat boy, and farts like she's been eating Taco Bell since day one! Seriously! I've never smelt such rank baby farts. And the crying. Don't even let me begin....the one thing I LOVE and WANT TO COMMIT MOMMY-CIDE over (that's when you just play dead for a while hoping dad will tend to baby - make sure you don't blink too much or you'll give yourself away) is my daughter's strong will. At three months the girl is no quitter when it comes to getting what she wants, which leads me to believe that this may carry on into her formative years and I will have one successful little munchkin on my hands. HOWEVER....at 2 in the damn morning you're wondering if she will even make it to her formative years if she keeps it up. *NOW HERE IS MY DISCLAIMER FOR YOU UBER-SENSITIVE MOMS OUT THERE - I'M JUST KIDDING!!! I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER IN A MILLION BAZILLION YEARS DO ONE OUNCE OF HARM TO MY DAUGHTER. QUIT DIALING CPS* But seriously ladies...ya feel me?? We've all been there.....

But then....in walked Mylicon....small in size but HUGE in effect (much like, and UN like some boys in my past)....1 tiny little drop to the inner cheek and I swear on my favorite pair of panties (I'm still wearing my maternity panties - haha) she was out in LESS THAN ONE MINUTE! ONE FREAKIN' MINUTE YA'LL!!! That's less time than it takes me to breathe again after inhaling a nose full of one of her farts!!!

Seriously. Mylicon, I heart you.

10 comments:

Theta Mom said...

You crack me up! Mylicon saves the day! Ugh, that's the worst. A crying baby that won't stop and you feel so helpless. Glad to hear it all worked out!

SoBella Creations said...

Glad to hear all worked out.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Visiting via SITS!

Jen said...

I never knew the joy of Mylicon. So wish I had.

Stopped by from SITS to say hi and welcome.

Kelly said...

Will it work on my husband???

You're hilarious! I'm so going to remember mommy-cide!

JaelCustomDesigns said...

* Popping in from SITS!

Love the blog. You're too funny! Well, I completely empathize with you as I've had those moments with my little one myself! :-)

Jennifer said...

Too funny! Mylicon, is a blessing isn't it?!

Lamonica Epps said...

Funny post. I enjoyed reading it.

Stopping by from SITS

SITS Girls said...

Just found your blog over at SITS Welcome post- I LOVED Mylicon. It's the only piece of advice I offer new moms!

Welcome to the SITStahood!

Tiffany

SupahMommy said...

We played quarters and Mylicon pong for 3 months straight.
No . joke.

It was like my BFF... ALTHOUGH.. I couldn't tell if it worked. I started chuggin it myself to help with the anxiety of a non stop screaming fussing baby.

Her farts smelled so bad, I could smell them through the monitor.

I had to resort to alternative measures.

d
Sidenote; Now.. see.. I found reference to her age!!

I beleive our babies are similar in age.
But you have to email me to discuss..

i'm like a stranger.. luring you in with a lollipop.

:)

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

We know all about Mylicon at our house. Used to give to my oldest as a nightly cocktail for a month or so when she was really tiny. Didn't make much of a difference with my youngest. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise! ;)

Stopping by from SITS. Happy Saturday Sharefest! :)

 
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