Not too many posts ago I made mention that I have often contemplated purchasing stock in Trojans. Well, I may be going broke because mama just discovered MYLICON.
Now before I wax poetic about the beautiful little blue box, let me first say TO ALL MY MOMMY FRIENDS WHO READ THIS AND DIDN'T TELL ME SUCH AN AMAZING PRODUCT EXISTED - YOU'RE ALL DEAD TO ME. To my expecting mommy friends who read this - I expect my name to be listed somewhere on that birth certificate.
OMG MYLICON! Where have you been the past three months of my life?? Seriously. For the last three months I have been dealing with a beautiful baby girl who burps like a Kappa Sig frat boy, and farts like she's been eating Taco Bell since day one! Seriously! I've never smelt such rank baby farts. And the crying. Don't even let me begin....the one thing I LOVE and WANT TO COMMIT MOMMY-CIDE over (that's when you just play dead for a while hoping dad will tend to baby - make sure you don't blink too much or you'll give yourself away) is my daughter's strong will. At three months the girl is no quitter when it comes to getting what she wants, which leads me to believe that this may carry on into her formative years and I will have one successful little munchkin on my hands. HOWEVER....at 2 in the damn morning you're wondering if she will even make it to her formative years if she keeps it up. *NOW HERE IS MY DISCLAIMER FOR YOU UBER-SENSITIVE MOMS OUT THERE - I'M JUST KIDDING!!! I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER IN A MILLION BAZILLION YEARS DO ONE OUNCE OF HARM TO MY DAUGHTER. QUIT DIALING CPS* But seriously ladies...ya feel me?? We've all been there.....
But then....in walked Mylicon....small in size but HUGE in effect (much like, and UN like some boys in my past)....1 tiny little drop to the inner cheek and I swear on my favorite pair of panties (I'm still wearing my maternity panties - haha) she was out in LESS THAN ONE MINUTE! ONE FREAKIN' MINUTE YA'LL!!! That's less time than it takes me to breathe again after inhaling a nose full of one of her farts!!!
Seriously. Mylicon, I heart you.