Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Longest Day Of The Rest Of My Life

The commercial says "Having a baby changes everything". I used to hate that commercial. Who doesn't know that?? Especially being that I have worked in child development and family empowerment for the last ten years - that was just wasted airtime and breath...even the 16 year old boy with the knocked up girlfriend knew that - that's why he freaks out DAILY.

Then today happened - and the know it all knew nothing. In order for you to fully understand the magnitude of this freak out session I have to give you a bit of history. On May 14, 2009 Emory Yvonne Webster entered the world. Aside from her being incredibly white ( we look any BIT white??) and having a bum arm (my girl's got Erb's Palsy ya'll - say your prayers it goes away), she was perfect. Not a spot on her. We (okay well, I) enjoyed 4 glorious responsibility free days in the hospital and then brought our sweetpea home. So far so good - nothing had really changed as the lame-o commercial SWORE it would, and little Miss Know It All (i.e. ME)went on knowing it all. Then about 4 days after bringing Em home this little pink dot showed up on her right temple. It was teeny weeny and I thought nothing of it. When it didn't go away after a few days I decided to just keep my eye on it and remember to ask her doctor at her 2 month check up. When a month and 12 days went by and it went from a small pin prick of a dot to this raised, red bump it was more than enough to make the know it all take pause. I showed my honey and we agreed it didn't look right, we didn't like the fact it was growing, and we wanted her doctor to look at it sooner rather than later. Our doc agreed to bump her 2 month visit up 2 weeks and saw her about 9 days after we called. Naturally I, the first time, neurotic mom was all kinds of nervous and worried but good old doc was very casual about the whole thing.

"Oh that? That's just a hemangioma, or a strawberry mole. Nothing to worry about. They are fairly common and they go away on there own - usually by the time the child is 6-9 months. It will continue to grow and others may pop up - but I promise you - nothing to worry about."

Okay, so neurotic mom is happy and breathing again and all is right in the world. with all neurotic moms - one doctor can't know it all. Sooooo..I call my girlfriend who is an opthamological plastic surgeon and ask her about it. She asks me to email her pics of it - which of course I do IMMEDIATELY - and she agrees with doc - typical strawberry hemangioma - nothing to worry about. Doctor number three says the same thing. So I leave good enough alone. HOWEVER - by this point the once teeny weeny is now FREAKIN' HUGE

and I'm just NOT feelin it. BUT all doctors agree and one is personally invested since she's one of my best friends - so high maintenance know it all neurotic mom decides to just chill and let the hemangioma from hell do it's thing.

Until today.

Today the commercial that I long before loathed played over and over in my spinning head. Today, while sitting watching a video at the WIC office my daughter began to spontaneously BLEED FROM HER HEAD. At first I couldn't tell where it was coming from - then I spotted it - the hemangioma. The "no need to worry" pin prick had now swelled to a size too big for its own good and was now relieving itself in the form of blood running profusely down my daughters face. Yes, you read right. My daughter began to spontaneously bleed from the thing I - first time neurotic mom - was not supposed to worry about.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?????? Excuse my language - I really try not to curse on my blog but NOBODY SAID ONE FUCKING THING ABOUT SPONTANEOUS BLEEDING!!!!!

So I run out of the office and ask them to call a doctor or someone that can help me because I don't know what the hell is going on. (I should make mention that during this entire ordeal my daughter is totally chill - has absolutely no idea that her head is leaking) While waiting for the paramedics to show up I called my honey and advised him of what was going on and within 8 minutes he was there. Mind you at the normal speed limit he was a good 25 minutes away, and within those 8 minutes she stopped bleeding. However, the paramedics advised that we should just take her to her pediatrician - the same pediatrician who said "IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT". We follow their advice and on the way there I mentally prepared the verbal bitch-slap I'm about to give her. She didn't say crap about this bleeding thing so in my mind I was right and she was wrong and I was going to demand a referral to someone/somewhere better. Might I add that while we were in the waiting room the spontaneous bleeding started up once again.

I WAS FUMING. My fear and concern had morphed into pissed the hell off. That verbal bitch slap was getting longer and louder in my head. Finally her doc calls us in and I'm all set to let her have it. But she beat me to it.

"See here - look at these pictures of other children who have had hemangiomas. They are all much larger than Emory's. And look here - it says right here that bleeding and ulceration is normal. It's part of the process and is usually a sign that it is starting to go away on its own. See - this is all part of the process...IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT."

I question her again and again - confirming that it really is nothing to worry about. I read the passage in the medical book over and over again - not fully believing that there was nothing to worry about. But there it was - "Bleeding is typical and common for hemangiomas". So that was it. Plain and simple. My child is going to bleed from her head until this hemangioma thing goes away. Nothing to worry about. Nothing nothing....nothing.

This is going to be a really long rest of my life if she's gonna keep giving me "nothing to worry about"......


Eva Gallant said...

I don't blame you fro freaking out! I would have done the same. I'm truly glad that she is okay. Hell, she's more than okay, she's adorable.


confused homemaker said...

It is so scary when that happens. My brother had that happen when he was about 2, he had it for a while & when it started bleeding one day it freaked everyone out. And btw she's a real cutey-pie.

Brittany at Mommy Words said...

Oh my goodness that would b terrifying! My daughter has a hemangioma on her arm that is still growing and we are going to a specialist in September because she will be 3! I am glad that is what it is supposed to do but man it would be scary. Found you on MBC!

Momma Such said...

Wow! I'm so glad everything is ok! I would have been freaking out!!! You are such a good Mom for sticking with your instincts though b/c you just never know and Mom's know when something isn't right with their child. What mom wouldn't freak out and rush their kid to the doctor if they were bleeding from their head. Good for you for being such a good mommy! :) I'm following you from MBC! :)

Kelly said...

omg, I cannot even imagine! Any mother, any sane person, would have freaked out. I'm glad all is okay... saying a prayer for her now.

The Redhead Riter said...

Freak outs are allowed when it is YOUR baby!

Stopping by with a little bloggie love tonight!

carma said...

It is crazy that they didn't warn you this might happen. I would have been a total stress case...

You'll be surprised all the other interesting things' you will learn about with your own kid. Mine's now 13 and I am amazed I don't have a head full of gray hair by now..

Stopping by from SITS to say "welcome." I know that you will enjoy being a part of this vibrant community of bloggers!
carma :-)

Veronica Lee said...

Hi! I'm visiting from MBC. Great blog.

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

Wow - I would have been freaking out too. That's so scary. You'd of thought the doc would have forewarned you of such things before hand. Fingers crossed that it's on it's way to being gone. Hang in there! Over from SITS to say hi & welcome you aboard.

greedygrace said...

I'm sorry, no. Children do not bleed out the side of their heads! I would be freaked out, too! I've never heard of that, and poor baby! It looks so big! I certainly would have been imagining the worse. Here's hoping it goes away soon.

I came by to welcome you to SITS! We're happy to have you with us!

The Rambler said...

Whoa. I would have totally been freaking out. And would have not contained any type of normalcy while screaming paranoia on the phone with the Dr. (cause I'm a freak like that).

I'm glad that's 'normal'. I wish the dr could have mentioned that to you. :(

She's a beauty though, your daughter.

Stopping by from SITS to say welcome and hello.

Great blog.

that one girl said...

thanks for all the concerned comments ya'll...we go see a dermatologist tomorrow....the ped. i didn't get to verbally bitch-slap referred us b/c she knows i'm neurotic like that...stay tuned to see what happens...(i feel like giving the "arnold from different strokes" that weird?)

Karen said...

i am no where near a mommy, but yes, i "get" the freak out! "nothing to worry about by arse!". if you take a break from freaking out, check out a fellow SITStah at www, miss emory is yummy, btw!

Barbara De Lorenzo said...

I sympathize, we made our pediatrician come in on a Sunday, the day after we left the hospital because of our newbie parent neurosis (for nothing of course). I would've been freaking out just the same in your situation, it sounds scary. I'm glad Emory is fine, and she is absolutely beautiful and so, so cute!

Barbara De Lorenzo said...

I sympathize, we made our pediatrician come in on a Sunday, the day after we left the hospital because of our newbie parent neurosis (for nothing of course). I would've been freaking out just the same in your situation, it sounds scary. I'm glad Emory is fine, and she is absolutely beautiful and so, so cute!

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