Oh the scandal scandal SCANDAL I am about to unleash by participating in MeMe Monday TODAY!!! The topic - 5 white lies you have told....ugh...I am so done for....Okay...
btw - Supah, you owe me for this one...lmao!
1. To college boyfriend - "Oh my god Yes! Yes! That is sooo it! You're so workin it! Oh my god I'm almost there...yes yes YES!!!!"
- yep, you guessed it. I FAKED IT - BIG TIME (and many times)! I was young and didn't want to hurt his fragile college boy ego. He really thought he was doin' somethin' and I just wanted it to be OVER, so yes. I faked it. And I'm damn glad I did because when I wrote "The Bad Girl's Guide To Faking A Good One" for my creative writing class, I totally got an A+ on that junk!
2. To cop - "Yes sir, I know I was speeding. I am on my way to an emergency appointment with my Obstetrician."
- this was a bad lie to tell, and I immediately felt horrible for it and asked for forgiveness....but I really couldn't afford a ticket at the time...and I was obviously pregnant - so I used it to my advantage. Bad, I know.
3. To family - "I'm dating the most AWESOME guy!"
- I was dating my vibrator. Which was pretty damn awesome, and I had named him - so does it really count as a lie?
4. To self - "You'll get back in those size 14's in NO TIME!"
- Four months later I have yet to stop buying the mini Haagen Dazs cups from Kroger... but damn them for making them 10 for $10!
5. To Honey - "The kids must have found your secret stash of Mike n Ike's, Lemonheads, Lifesavers, AND Laffy Taffy! You should do something about that."
-Yes. I sacrificed my stepkids for some damn candy. I consider it payback for all the hell they've given me from day one.
So there ya have it - now that I have secured my spot in purgatory, I will go redeem myself in yet ANOTHER mini ice cream cup. 14 shmourteen....I'm HOT!
Ah damn - it was just 5 white lies RIGHT?!