Monday, September 14, 2009

MeMe Monday - oh Supah Supah Supah.......

Oh the scandal scandal SCANDAL I am about to unleash by participating in MeMe Monday TODAY!!! The topic - 5 white lies you have told....ugh...I am so done for....Okay...
btw - Supah, you owe me for this one...lmao!

1. To college boyfriend - "Oh my god Yes! Yes! That is sooo it! You're so workin it! Oh my god I'm almost there...yes yes YES!!!!"

- yep, you guessed it. I FAKED IT - BIG TIME (and many times)! I was young and didn't want to hurt his fragile college boy ego. He really thought he was doin' somethin' and I just wanted it to be OVER, so yes. I faked it. And I'm damn glad I did because when I wrote "The Bad Girl's Guide To Faking A Good One" for my creative writing class, I totally got an A+ on that junk!

2. To cop - "Yes sir, I know I was speeding. I am on my way to an emergency appointment with my Obstetrician."

- this was a bad lie to tell, and I immediately felt horrible for it and asked for forgiveness....but I really couldn't afford a ticket at the time...and I was obviously pregnant - so I used it to my advantage. Bad, I know.

3. To family - "I'm dating the most AWESOME guy!"

- I was dating my vibrator. Which was pretty damn awesome, and I had named him - so does it really count as a lie?

4. To self - "You'll get back in those size 14's in NO TIME!"

- Four months later I have yet to stop buying the mini Haagen Dazs cups from Kroger... but damn them for making them 10 for $10!

5. To Honey - "The kids must have found your secret stash of Mike n Ike's, Lemonheads, Lifesavers, AND Laffy Taffy! You should do something about that."

-Yes. I sacrificed my stepkids for some damn candy. I consider it payback for all the hell they've given me from day one.

So there ya have it - now that I have secured my spot in purgatory, I will go redeem myself in yet ANOTHER mini ice cream cup. 14 shmourteen....I'm HOT!

Ah damn - it was just 5 white lies RIGHT?!


Momma G.Love said...

I love #3! Classic!

...stopping by from SITS...

Steph @ Stick It in the Fridge

Amanda {My Life Badly Written} said...

LMAO!! I love #2 - I soooo used my pregnancy to its advantages too when I was pregnant!!

However I am not as brave as you and will not be participating and telling any white lies to protect the guilty (er...that would be me!!)

SupahMommy said...

You are such a riot! I am up at 8:16 am.. finally checking in and here you are. FIRST! Yahhh PRIZE .. and yahhhh hilarious.

I seriously laughed soo very loud at all of them.

so loud

the vibrator.
the bad girls guide

omg.. you should publish that shit!!

you are too much fun

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

OMG—I'm ON THE FLOOR over here!!!!!!!! I thought I was the only one who stole the kids' candy. And yes, damn Kroger's 10 for $10. And yay for the acting skills—they DO come in handy, don't they?!

Found you on SITS... so glad I did!

Lacie E. said...

I raid the hubsters candy all the time then act like what are you talking about i didn't touch those lol

Evonne said...

I was on the floor laughing! Those are great lies. And yes it's ok to blame the kids for taking candy. They deserve some payback!!

MommyBrain said...

Oh this list had me blushing - just a little - and laughing - a whole lot! You put it out there, and I am so glad you did :)

Thanks for playing along with me and Supah ... I look forward to Mondays now :)

Ekanthapadhikan said...

OMG! You made my jaw bones ache and do I feel something funny in my tummy too? God... You're awesome!!!

Theta Mom said...

Love #2! LOL You are going to Monday's less stressful! :)

Lisa said...

LOL! I love yours!


Chief said...

yours a very scandalous! I think I like it!

shraddha/april@theselfloveproject said...

you are my kind of girl..

love it

Matthew said...

Wouldn't most guys know a girl was faking if she was capable of forming the phrase "you're so working it" during a good hard etc etc?

Or maybe they just pretend not to..... Yeah; that'd work as an answer.

that one girl said...

lol matthew ...i take it you've heard that before????

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